Wednesday, May 16, 2007


How much would you pay for this? What if it was on canvas? The Invasion is guessing that at the most you're saying somewhere between $50-100. Shame, because if you were willing to part with a little more than that, this Marc Rothko painting could be yours. A little more as in $72 million more.
Tuesday this painting, titled White Center, sold for $72.8 million breaking the record for post war art. No word on who bought this glorified fingerpainting modern masterpiece, but the Invasion is damn sure that the money could've been spent on a lot better things. Guesses as to who bought this and what you would spend $72 million on go in the comments.

Jerry Fallwell is Dead

Jerry Fallwell recently died. He was a dick and a hateful person. Oddly enough he died within days of another dangerous religious loon, Mullah Dadullah. If there was a hell (there isn't), the Invasion believes justice would only be served if these two shared a dorm room with a hot, slutty lesbian. The Invasion cannot think of one good thing to say about Fallwell, but we have a list of plenty things he said. Read on and remember why this guy did nothing good for our world:

  • “AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals”
  • "It appears that America's anti-Biblical feminist movement is at last dying, thank God, and is possibly being replaced by a Christ-centered men's movement which may become the foundation for a desperately needed national spiritual awakening."
  • "If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being."
  • After the September 11 attacks Falwell said, “I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen."
  • “Christians, like slaves and soldiers, ask no questions”
  • “[Homosexuals are] brute beasts...part of a vile and satanic system [that] will be utterly annihilated, and there will be a celebration in heaven.
Thanks to BoingBoing.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

A Call to Action

For non-Deadspinners, the One Man Invasion kindly presents you to the World League. Formed in 1957 by Hong Kong billionaire Ken Kai-Tak, the World League "has a rich and colourful history, as does the World League Championship trophy. This enduring symbol of sporting excellence has been handed out every year, except 1961 due to the Grantham Incident." Current teams hail from all across the globe (hence, the World League) with the Manchester Exchequers currently tied for the league lead with the San Juan Huesos Rojos. At the bottom are the Copenhagen Great Danes and the Tokyo Six. Other squads include the excellently monikered Tehran Asaurus, Helsinki Telecom and Cairo Glyphs.
The World League is currently accepting applications for expansion franchises. The fee is a mere $75 and a professional sports team is all yours. The application process requires potential owners to sumbit to the league office a city, team name, stadium name, team roster, professional logo and front office. Teams that are accepted will be able to acquire team specific merchandise available through the World League's store. The OMI behooves you, loyal reader, to put together a consortium of some sort and purchase a franchise.


With Istanbul in our rearview mirror, the One Man Invasion refocuses its crosshairs on the important stuff, in particular animated Belgian reporters. The OMI's second favorite Belgian native, Tin Tin is getting the Hollywood treatment from bigwigs Steven Speilberg and Peter Jackson. For the stupid unaware, Tin Tin is the lead character in a series of books/comics that are super popular throughout the world, except in the States (also see: soccer, metric system, non-gigantic cars). Tin Tin was previously seen on the small screen in an HBO series back in the day. The Invasion is a big Tin Tin fan and is thoroughly looking forward to the first "Thundering typhoons!" or "Blistering barnacles!" bellowed by Captain Haddock.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Last of Istanbul - Topkapi Palace

The One Man Invasion planned on posting pics from Topkapi Palace and writing about it as well, but we've beating you over the head with Istanbul and Turkey so here are the best of the rest for you to enjoy. Enjoy...

freshly squeezed oj is everywhere and tasty

fishing for hamsi

not a fan of the spoiled yogurt tasting beverage

finally something that unites Muslims and Jews

a funny picture taken from train

boo yah

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Bridger Bishop

This is the One Man Invasion's friend Bridger. He came to Istanbul with us although the blogging evidence seems not to back up this claim. Bridger made many great contributions to the trip such as spazzing out in front of the Topkapi Palace harem b/c he couldn't find his ticket, provoking a group of fat Spanish girls to call us all 'stupido americanos' and informing a girl from Atlanta that we met in our hostel that she hailed from the same county (Cobb County, GA) as the Big Boss Man. Below are some pictures of Mr. Bishop.

Bridger in front of the famous Blue Mosque

Bridger enjoys posing with baklava

Bridger can also talk to cats

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Istanbul International Tulip Festival

When the One Man Invasion and co. arrived in Istanbul, we stumbled across the International Tulip Festival. A symbol of Turkey, tulips were introduced into Western Europe by the Ottoman Empire under Suleyman the Magnificient. Apparently they take the festival quite seriously as you will see below.


No stray dogs to see of in Istanbul, but cats are everywhere. And they are pretty aggressive.

Valens' Aqueduct (yes, more Istanbul)

Valens' Aqueduct is named after Roman Emporer Valens who was emporer when the aqueduct was completed. Valens is often known as the 'Last True Roman' and is probably better known for leading his army to a catastrophic defeat at the Battle of Adrianople in 378. The loss marked the beginning of the end for the Roman Empire as the victorious Goths established themselves as a power to be feared.

Last of the real men

Sunday, May 06, 2007


The father of the modern Turkish republic, Mustafa Kemal Atatürk is absolutely everywhere in Istanbul and he dominates the modern state. Born in 1881, Atatürk first rose to prominence in the First World War at Gallipoli where the Ottomans repelled the Allied advances. Mustafa Kemal's quick, decisive actions were the difference between victory and defeat at Gallipoli and he was hailed as a national hero.
Following WWI and the partition of the Ottoman Empire, Mustafa Kemal led the Turkish forces in a war of independence that would lay the foundations of the Turkish republic. Mustafa Kemal soon helped establish a Turkish nationalist movement that opposed the Allied occupation of Turkey. After military victories against the Greeks and the Armenians, Mustafa Kemal turned his attention to matters of building the newly formed Turkish Republic which had been declared in late 1923.
As a member of the Young Turk Movement in his youth, Mustafa Kemal enacted their progressive societal and political ideas that formed the foundation of the new republic. Representative democracy, separation of chuch and state and economic independence were all advocated and thrust upon the new nation by Mustafa Kemal and his newly formed Republican People's Party. A cultural revolution was also undertaken as education was modernized, the Turkish language was codified in the Roman alphabet and made the official state language, freedoms were granted to women and western styles were promoted. Also, in a move that is hailed as pure genius by the One Man Invasion, Mustafa Kemal went against the traditional anti-alcohol teachings of Islam and actively encouraged the national production of alcohol. In 1934 the Law of Surnames was adopted (forcing all people to take a last name), and the National Assembly bestowed the name Atatürk ('Father of the Turks') on Mustafa Kemal.
After Atatürk's death in 1938, his successor created a cult of personality surrounding Atatürk that has survived until this day. Atatürk's face and words are everywhere. His face is on every piece of money, in schools and in all public buildings. Also his name graces plenty of structures. In Istanbul alone there is Atatürk International Airport, Atatürk Bridge over the Golden Horn and Atatürk Stadium.
Wikipedia (more OMI laziness) sums up Atatürk well by stating:
Atatürk sought to modernize and democratize a new Turkish Republic from the remnants of the Ottoman Empire. In his quest to do so, Atatürk had implemented far-reaching reforms, the consequence of which has led Turkey towards the European Union today. The emphasis placed on secularism and nationalism had also led to a degree of conflict within society. Some practicing Muslims found the idea of secularism as being against the teaching of Islam, and criticize the state for not allowing full freedom of religion. In Turkey to this day Islam is still curbed and women are not allowed to wear their head scarves in public buildings....Atatürk continues to be revered throughout Turkey and his principles remain the backbone of modern Turkish politics.
two visionaries

Saturday, May 05, 2007

The Bosphorus

The Bosphorus is the straight that forms the boundary between Europe and Asian. Splitting Istanbul and Turkey, the straight connects the Black Sea to the Mediterranean via the Sea of Marmara. Being a bit lazy today, the One Man Invasion mines Wikipedia for more info on the Bosphorus:
As the narrowest point of passage between the Black Sea and the Mediterranean, the Bosporus has always been of great commercial and strategic importance. The Greek city-state of Athens in the 5th century BC, which was dependent on grain imports from Scythia, therefore maintained critical alliances with cities which controlled the straits, such as the Megarian colony Byzantium.
The strategic significance of the strait was one of the factors in the decision of the Roman Emperor Constantine the Great to found there in 330 AD his new capital, Constantinople, which came to be known as the capital of the Eastern Roman Empire. [In] 1453 it was conquered by the emerging Ottoman Empire. In fact, as the Ottoman Turks closed in on Constantinople, they constructed a fortification on each side of the strait.

Turkish Toilets

just as advertised

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Podcast Goodness

Taking a break from Istanbul, the One Man Invasion would just like to recommend a podcast to our loyal readers.'s The Sound of Young America describes itself as a cross between NPR's Fresh Air (another great podcast) and Late Night with Conan O'Brien. The podcast features interesting interviews with interesting people who have interesting things to say. Recently Ted Leo chatted with host Jesse Thorn about his new album, his writing process and how he deals with growing old in a young man's game. Interview subjects range from comedian Zach Galifanakis to the creator of Aqua Teen Hunger Force to a guy who wrote an award winning book on hip-hop to rapper Peedi Crack. Good listening for the long commute to and from work or for two hour train rides to the county capital to pick up a package from home.