Tuesday, March 27, 2007

First State

Although the One Man Invasion has left home in search of gold and glory, it doesn't mean that we've turned our back on where our heart is. Thanks to the power of the interwebs, we've kept an eye on hometown news. The Wilmington News Journal is the first stop and while that doesn't yield much (Ryan Cormier's blog is a rare bright spot), Dana Garrett's Delaware Watch is simply awesome. Delaware Watch is a true watchdog blog and the reporting is great stuff. Garrett covers it all, Wilmington to Georgetown, and he slays the crooked wanks that are running the First State. Subscribe via RSS or just bookmark it, Delaware Watch gets the Invasion's highest possible recommendation.

Monday, March 19, 2007

More Hello English


the music is the greatest

Gimme Da Gold

Awkward Toad recently posted one of the classic YouTube videos of all time and the One Man Invasion, putting our journalistic skills to use, has come across gem that adds a bit more depth to this feel-good story. So zip on over to MySpace and make yourself a new friend. Also take the time to listen to the hottest cut this side of Hall & Oates "Rich Girl" and pick up some new gear while you're at it.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

The Jackalope

Imaginary animals are normally the territory of the One Man Invasion's blood-brother IrvingLongface, but since Longface is outta the blog game, the OMI feels responsible to carry the torch. It appears that the mythical jackalope is the real deal. The jackalope is quite a creature ("a cross between a jackrabbit and an antelope, goat, or deer, and is usually portrayed as a rabbit with antlers") and has spawned many a legend.
It has also been said that the jackalope can convincingly imitate any sound, including the human voice. It uses this ability to elude pursuers, chiefly by using phrases such as "There he goes! That way!". It is said that a jackalope may be caught by putting a flask of whiskey out at night. The jackalope will drink its fill of whiskey and its intoxication will make it easier to hunt. It is also legend that the Cherokee Indians would eat these at the end of a vision quest. It has also been said that jackalopes will only breed during electrical storms with hail, explaining its rarity. The jackalope is the product of the mating of a male jackrabbit with a female antelope.
Certain Invasion colleagues love to bang on about the jackalope and recent posts on awesome blog BoingBoing explain the beast. Rabbits that are infected with Shopes Papillomavirus gives them the appearance of having antlers. Even better, there are links to videos and pics of the jackalope. Frankly, the OMI would be happy if we never run across one of these in our lifetime.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Your Boy is Back

Elvis in '68, Buffalo Bills vs Houston Oilers First Round of Playoffs '92, and Jake Czerwin. A group of over-medicated meatheads heading towards an inevitable demise? Close but not quite. Three for-sure losers that turned things around to be winners? Closer, but not what we were going for. Three of the greatest comebacks in recent memory? Bingo!
Summer is just around the corner and that can only mean a few dozen hundred things. One of them is kickoff of the annual Philadelphia Phillies Torment Their Fans Drive that will begin in April and last until the Braves/Mets/Marlins take the NL East and the wild card spot is taken by a team that doesn't live in Suck City, also known as Philadelphia. Another harbinger of summer is Memorial Day, a day when we remember how drunk we all got last year and try to top it this year. But, let's be honest, the most known sign of summer is the restart of the Wiffleball For Alcohol Season.
As tradition dictates, aforementioned League Commissioner Jacob T. Czerwin is back and has started to post on the WFA Blog for all those lusting after some pre-season chatter. So click on over there and marvel at the new and improved league page, put in your two cents regarding some new rules and laugh at a picture of Staib with a butt in his face.

It's Outrageous, Egregious, Preposterous!

Recently at the hipster love-in also known as the South by Southwest Festival, the Seventh Annual Weblog Awards were given out and in a decision as shocking as it is stupid, the One Man Invasion was overlooked. While we perfectly understand not winning Best Australian/New Zealand blog and especially Best GLBT (whatever that means) blog, we are that we were not even nominated, let alone awarded. As we are far too humble to nominate ourselves, the blame must be placed on you, so-called loyal reader, for not putting us up to be recognized for the beacon of genius that we are. No more rants from us today, just check out the winners and nominees, it's some of the best the internets has to offer. Now you can go back to your Nirvana album you apathetic slackers.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

A Project From September

Last September the OMI's sitemate decided to start a project where he would clean the area around the numerous mountain springs that are located all around town. Most aren't really looked after regardless if people take water from them. Some are in pretty ugly condition, but with a little work they could look nice and the town could be beautified. It would also probably be beneficial to the people that actually get water from these things. I'm not really sure what the exact plan was, but The Invasion is always willing to help out a friend and we had nothing else to do anyway. Two students came and helped as did some old guy with a few teeth who follows our sitemate around. Here are some pics to ponder over:

doing some work

just about finished

an inspector comes to check out the work


our work meets with approval

Food

This is where the One Man Invasion does the food shopping. Fruits and vegetables here are good, just make sure to wash thoroughly, ya know.

These Are Not the Droids You're Looking For

In a soon-to-be unsuccessful attempt to lure Star Wars geeks from their computers and emails and internets, the US Postal Service is introducing R2-D2 mailboxes. The mailboxes are helping to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the release of the A New Hope. No word yet on when the Jar-Jar Binks mailboxes will be released.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Jack Bauer Rules, but Not About 24

While recently watching an episode of 24 (best cop show ever), it came to the Invasion's attention that a horror movie about an evil hitchhiker will be coming out/has come out. The One Man Invasion has felt compelled to post on this probably-shite flick not because of its likely stupidity or because of the horror movie revival, but we've sprung into action because The Hitcher is giving a bad name to, well, hitchhiking. Hitchhiking is a common practice here in Romania and at the edge of every town/city there's an area where one can catch a ride (see above). Unfortunately one is expected to pay for the ride, but it's normally less than a bus or a train ticket. Hitchhiking lost its luster in the States after a spate of crimes in the 1970s and stupid movies like the aforementioned keep it from making any kind of comeback. In Romania hitchhiking doesn't carry the risk of murder, but it's far from safe. Regardless, the fearless One Man Invasion hitches a ride every now and then and we are normally forced into the same long conversation explaining why we're here and what we're doing and if we like Romanian gals and we end up wishing that we never mentioned that we could speak Romanian.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Hello Ladies

Once upon a time we felt that there was no one word that could describe the One Man Invasion. Thanks to renowned smut-peddler fashion designer Calvin Klein, those days are no more. Last year in anticipation of its marketing campaign for the new 'CK in2u' fragrance, Klein trademarked the word "technosexual", a word that, more than any other, captures the essence of the OMI. The new fragrance will be unleashed on April 1 and is being marketed to so-called millenials, people born between 1982 and 1995. The New York Times looks at the upcoming marketing campaign for the new fragrance and how Calvin Klein sees it as the perfect fit for the new generation. Needless to say there will be plenty of internet ads and YouTube stuff, but the Invasion's favorite line from the campaign has to be this gem: “She likes how he blogs, her texts turn him on. It’s intense. For right now.” Story of the OMI's life.

Just Give Them Some Aristocrat Vodka

According to a blogger from Wired Magazine, the US Navy is researching a weapon that will shoot an invisible beam that will cause people to puke. The non-lethal weapon is one of many that will be showcased at the Navy's Opportunity Forum. Apparently the weapon can even shoot through walls incapacitating all those in a room. Invocon Inc, the weapon's producer notes that secondary effects would include "extreme motion sickness."
While this would be the coolest thing ever to own, the One Man Invasion believes the military has just gone too far this time. The poor Muslim people that will get hit with this sweet weapon don't even drink. They are going to have to suffer the horrendous bedspins and vomiting that come with a night on the booze without the fun of getting bombed. Or will they? Hey-Oh! (rimshot!) Inappropriate jokes aside, the Invasion demands to know how much one of these things would cost. How awesome would it be if you had something that is guaranteed to make people puke on command? Pretty awesome, we say.

finally an post where we can use this picture

AwkwardToad Returns

Fresh off a whirlwind few weeks of showing his wang to most of upstate New York, everyone's favorite US-based blogger is back. The AwkwardToad has not only returned, ladies and germs, but he has promised the world a post a day for the month of March. The One Man Invasion applauds such daring acts, and we've decided it's time for his hat to be thrown in the ring. AwkwardToad for president.

He's in it to win

Thursday, March 01, 2007

From the "If You Can't Beat 'Em, Join 'Em" Files

Struggling to combat human trafficking and the sexual exploitation of women, Romania has decided to pull the old switcheroo (or is it 'what's good for the goose is good for the gander'). Recently Interior Minister Vasile Blaga commented that the Romanian response to combat the increase in illegal prostitution will be to simply legalize it. Blaga said that a draft of the law will be ready in about a month.
Apparently the United Nations has listed Romania as one of the world's biggest sources of trafficked persons, most of them women that will go onto work as strippers or prostitutes. The One Man Invasion has never had any contact with this nefariousness, but needless to say, Mr. Blaga has gained our attention.
Shockingly, the Invasion does not approve. We say legalize hooking after human trafficking is cleaned up (and the girls too) then let Roxanne turn on her red light. Also, legalizing prostitution seems like the ultimate cop out. The Romanian government can't deal with the massive scale of the crimes so they are just trying to sweep the crimes under a legislative carpet. Basically, they can't solve the problem so just make the problem legal.
In related news South Africa has decided to repeal laws against murder, mugging students has been decriminalized on the University of Delaware campus and MySpace has legalized pedophilic stalking.