Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Of Course He Is

This past summer TVR1, Romania's national television channel asked for Romanians to vote on who is the greatest Romanian ever. While the One Man Invasion was not eligible, our Romanian namesake most certainly was and he won, naturally. Stefan cel Mare (Stephen the Great), King of Moldova from 1457-1504, was voted as the greatest Romanian of all time. Among his accomplishments, Stefan cel Mare was canonized, named a Champion of Christ by Pope Sixtus IV for defending Moldova from the Turks, built 44 monasteries (four of which are UNESCO heritage sites) and he fathered more than 20 illegitimate children. Of course the OMI hails this decision by the people of Romania to recognize ScM and in due time, loyal reader, these people will do the same to another SM.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

More Gilbert Arenas and The Invasion

More Gilbert Arenas and The Invasion
Regardless of his basketball ability (4th in scoring, 28.5 per), Gilbert Arenas simply rules. He has his own blog on NBA.com and it's a fantastic read. It's probably the second greatest blog on the entire internet. In the blog, he reveals couldn't get a Nintendo Wii or PS3 and now he regrets that he didn't impersonate a famous NBAer and skip the waiting. He sponsors a Halo team that finished 2nd at some world championships and he bought a giant puzzle: "I don’t know what I was thinking...I bought an 18,000 piece puzzle. The lady told me four years that it would take me to do it, and I was like, 'yeah right, I can do it in a couple months.' I don’t think I’ve found two pieces that connected together yet."
Arenas has dubbed this season The Takeover b/c he plans on not just taking over the league but, "From taking over the city, I’m trying to take over the league, taking over sponsors, taking over you know...Just the industry of everything...Getting buildings in my name, getting leagues in my name...This is the time where, you know, me as a person is gonna go get bigger." Fair enough we say and now the OMI is dubbing the next twelve months The Invasion. More details to come on the year of The Invasion. There will be celebrations, t-shirts, English classes and all kinds of things. An official announcement on The Invasion will soon follow.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Turkey Run

With Thanksgiving fast approaching, the OMI is scrambling to put together a dinner worthy of several colleagues/guests. The official number is close to twenty people for dinner the Saturday after Thanksgiving so we're under a bit of pressure. All is going well, but the acquisition of a turkey was proving to be quite a problem. The turkey, being a bird that hails from the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave, is rather rare in lovely Romania. The best bet was to get a frozen one from Metro, Costco's German cousin, in Suceava which is a solid 2 hour train ride away. Twenty people will require two medium sized turkeys, so needless to say, the OMI would have its hands and arms full if circumstances required such a journey.
Foolishly, the Invasion had counted out the possibilities of live turkeys in its own hometown. Invasion colleague Kenny "Chinezul" Chan was on the ball and jumped into action. Chan first put a classified ad on the local access cable channel asking if anyone had live turkeys to sell. While Chan did not have much luck there, he struck gold by walking around town and inspecting backyards. Kenny came across two lovely birds from two different yards and recently purchased them. The first one (below) was bought with little fanfare the other day and Kenny transported it to a friend's house where it will be fattened over the course of the next couple of weeks. It's only about 12 lbs. now but this one has potential.

The second turkey was a bit more complicated. Kenny hit up the OMI online and enlisted help to fetch the second, larger turkey. This evening we headed off toward the Jewish Cemetery (no joke) to purchase/pick up the turkey without any proper means of transporting it to our friend's house. Our friend, Constantin, lives about an hour walk from the purchase point, so we were in a tight spot. Kenny had other ideas. When Kenny bought the turkey, the seller asked us how we planned on transporting it. Kenny replied by taking out a long string from his bag and explaining that we would tie the string around the neck of the turkey and walk it across town. The man looked at us bewildered and stated that the turkey was not a dog. Apparently he thought that we had failed to realize this. After some deliberation, the man handed the turkey to yours truly and Kenny tied the feet so it couldn't get away if it was dropped it. We started walking and when we got out of sight of the man's house, the Invasion put the turkey down at Kenny's urging, he untied the feet, and tied the string around it's neck.

The turkey didn't appreciate this and started to scratch at the leash/string. It got used to it and Kenny started to yank on the leash trying to get it to follow him. The turkey wasn't so cooperative so Chan implored the OMI to kick it gently and nudge it in the right direction. We could not stop laughing and anyone who walked or drove by did the same, more at us than the situation. After fifteen minutes we gave up and the Invasion picked up the turkey and carried it about 20 minutes to a very helpful colleague's house.

She called a cab for us and we took the turkey to Constantin's place. The cabbie had zero problem with us riding w/a turkey (who wouldn't?) but in the future he will think twice about doing so. The turkey got kinda spooked on the way to Constantin's and it shat in the cab. Not only did it crap in the cab, it crapped on Kenny.

Thankfully (and smartly we may add) the OMI sat shotgun while Chan was stuck in the back with the turkey, still with the leash around its neck mind you. Finally arriving at Constantin's, the Invasion tried somewhat successfully cleaning the shite off Chan's sleeve and we put the turkey with its dinnermate and headed out to have a celebratory drink.
The Invasion asks you, faithful reader, how are you getting your turkey this Thanksgiving? Let us know in the comments, we'd love to compare stories.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Booze Fascists

The University of Delaware freshman class has until Friday to complete AlcoholEdu, an online educational program, or they will not be allowed to register for Spring Semester classes. Obviously the halcyon days when UD was a fun place to go to school will soon be destroyed and red brick walkways will cover up anything not sanctioned by the University. Helped by the Newark Police Department, the University Police have curtailed drinking both on and off campus. Thankfully the NPD doesn't have better things to do, like stopping students getting raped, students getting robbed guys from yelling at people with a megaphone (anymore). When reached for comment the head of the NPD (below) said, "Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2." The One Man Invasion strongly condemns this AlcoholEdu nonsense if only b/c it's a massive waste of time. The university should first take care of academic matters and worry about social issues second. Start by keeping the library open 24 hours and hiring more teachers so that classes aren't over registered. Then get to work on building fences and walkways so students don't get hit by trains when crossing the train tracks. Once that gets completed, maybe then worry about the booze.
"Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!"


Bonus: This is guaranteed to make you laugh lots: The Simpsons Quotes.com

Let's Give a Hand to Macaca

The Washington Post has done some serriusly fine journalism in tracking down one of the most influential people of this past election. Karl Rove? Donald Rumsfeld? President Bush? No, loyal reader, they have an exclusive article written by none other than SR "Macaca" Sidarth. Titled "I Am Macaca" the article details how Sidarth got involved with the Webb campaign and how things went down with the whole "slur that kinda wasn't a slur or maybe it was a slur". Here are some excerpts:
"Everywhere I went, though I was identifiably working on behalf of Allen's opponent, people treated me with dignity, respect and kindness."
"The hairstyle inflicted upon me by two friends late one night also became newsworthy; for the record, it was intended to be a mullet and has since grown out to nearly the appropriate length."
It seems like Allen's people were super nice to this guy and kudos to them, but the best part is the haircut comment. How do you get your haircut while asleep without noticing? Only when you are passed out drunk. The One Man Invasion officially wants to party with Macaca.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Where is my Mind?

Just the other day, the OMI realized that we're losing our mind. Not going crazy or anything like that, we're just forgetting how to do things we once could. The Invasion's students have a math exam on logarithms this coming week and while chatting, we realized that we had forgotten how to do logs. Other math tasks have certainly been forgotten as have countless other facts and the ability to do plenty of things. Confronted with mortality, the OMI has leapt into action. Having decided to sharpen our mind, we moved on over to the wonderful world of podcasts to help us out. We stumbled across Productive Strategies a time management/productivity site the other day and a long list of links to academic podcasts were posted. These are mostly lecture podcasts from universities and the subjects cover all areas. We're starting with Physics for Future Presidents, Shakespeare, Shakespeare in Film, and Architecture on Air. Alas, no podcasts have been found for Calculus or the like. Also, Johns Hopkins has a podcast site and so does Cal-Berkeley.

Speaking of podcasts, Ricky Gervais put out a free Halloween podcast and will release another one on Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Borat Did Romania

When Sacha Baron Cohen needed a village to represent Borat's hometown, where did he turn? While Kazakhstan is a good guess, apparently it didn't quite measure up to his wild ideas of impoverished, backward squalor. Where to turn then? Why Romania of course. An article was in today's Mail on Sunday, a British paper that details a Romanian village's contact with the Borat team and their reaction to the movie. The article details how Romanian villagers were tricked and humiliated by Baron Cohen. The Invasion expresses sympathy with the Romanians and while we chiefly feel badly for them, we are also jealous. Why couldn't they have filmed closer to the OMI's hometown?
Some excerpts from the article:
"They claim film-makers lied to them about the true nature of the project, which they believed would be a documentary about their hardship, rather than a comedy mocking their poverty and isolation."
"Mr Tudorache, a deeply religious grandfather who lost his arm in an accident, was one of those who feels most humiliated. For one scene, a rubber sex toy in the shape of a fist was attached to the stump of his missing arm - but he had no idea what it was."
"Luca, who now refers to Baron Cohen as to the 'ugly, tall, moustachioed American man', even though the 35-year-old comedian is British, said: 'They paid my family £30 for four full days...It was very uncomfortable at the end and there was animal manure all over our home. We endured it because we are poor and badly needed the money, but now we realise we were cheated and taken advantage of in the worst way."

Friday, November 03, 2006

Pictures from Today